for the perfectionist, burned-out, or first-gen adult.

As the year comes to an end, many people feel pressured by the idea that they need to finish the year strong. The end-of-the-year reflection is often framed as a performance review of your life – what you achieved, what you failed to do, and what needs fixing next. For many people, especially first-generation adults and perfectionists, this kind of reflection may quickly turn into self-criticism. And these messages show up everywhere – on social media, in workplaces, and even in personal goal-setting conversations.

If you’re feeling burnout, behind, or emotionally drained, it may be time to try a different approach: trying softer instead of pushing harder.

Why “Finish the year strong” can increase burnout

The phrase finish the year strong is often framed as empowerment, but it can unintentionally reinforce unhealthy patterns, especially for people who already carry high levels of responsibility.

This mindset often assumes:

• You have the emotional and physical capacity to push harder
• Productivity equals worth
• Rest should be delayed until goals are met
• Slowing down means you failed

For first-gens and high-achievers, this may activate survival-mode behaviors like overworking, people-pleasing, and ignoring emotional needs – all of which contribute to burnout.

What does “trying softer” mean for mental health?

Trying softer doesn’t mean giving up on goals or avoiding responsibility – there’s a difference between resting intentionally and disengaging entirely. It means shifting from self-pressure to self-support.

From a mental health perspective, trying softer means:

• Working with your nervous system instead of against it
• Allowing rest without earning it
• Setting realistic expectations during high-stress seasons
• Choosing sustainability over urgency
• Doing what’s necessary, not everything possible
• Adjusting your pace instead of abandoning your goals
• Valuing effort over perfection

Many people worry that slowing down means they’re being lazy or unmotivated – this may come from an accumulation of past experiences or present-day circumstances where being productive, on-the-go, or high-achieving was/is safe or of value.

How to try softer at the end of the year

If you’re wondering how to practically apply this mindset, here are gentle ways to close out the year:

• Evaluate goals with compassion rather than with criticism
• Prioritize rest and recovery alongside productivity
• Reduce commitments that drain your energy
• Letting “good enough” be enough
• Listen to physical and emotional signs of burnout, which include the following:
  • Increased irritability or impatience
  • Increased sense of worry (ex. racing thoughts)
  • Pleasurable activities are no longer effective to decompress or recharge (socializing with loved ones/significant others and engaging in hobbies are considered tasks rather than joyful)
  • Exhaustion (lack of deep, quality, REM sleep)
  • Brain fog, difficulty concentrating, difficulty retaining information
  • Headaches, back pain, reduced libido, and decrease in immunity function (getting sick more frequently and for longer duration)
  • Weight loss or weight gain

Trying softer is often the most sustainable path forward – especially when your nervous system is already overwhelmed.

A healthier way to reflect at the end of the year

A healthier approach to end-of-year reflection focuses less on outcomes and more on capacity, context, and care. Instead of asking, “how can I finish the year strong?” or “did I do enough” consider asking:

• What did I survive this year?
• What did this year teach me about my limits?
• What am I ready to release going into the next season?
• What does my body actually need right now?

These questions acknowledge what it took to live this year. End-of-year reflection doesn’t need to be about achievement. It can be about awareness, self-trust, and healing.

Ready to begin working with your nervous system?

There is wisdom found within our nervous system – it’s what has sustained you to make it to this exact moment. Trying softer or recognizing the cues your body signals to slow down while giving yourself credit sounds easier said than done. I would also add that to the majority who have known productivity or lived under chronically stressful circumstances may find this as extremely challenging to do – threatening even. At The Internal Dialogue Therapy Co. we can work together to identify the cycles that quietly reinforce productivity without rest – patterns that often formed around survival, responsibility, or early expectations. By bringing awareness to these cycles, it becomes possible to interrupt them with more supportive and sustainable ways of relating to work, rest, and worth.